| shit. why is she so sexy? she's not even that sexy. i can't even hold my hand up now without it shaking.
she's cute. and so little and skinny.
it's the fact that she comes off as so naive and innocent and pure, yet she hints at being such a filthy slut.
i just get that vibe that she wants to be fucked in the dirtiest way possible.
but i don't want to give her too much power. |
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| she places doubt in my head. and thoughts of failure.
because i let her. but i can only help so much.
so much just happens all on its own.
my insecurities allow this to happen. i need to realize where i stand so i can be more confident.
but like i said, there's only so much one can do. so much happens in the subconscious. |
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| i'm so stressed. just so much on my mind lately. so much. more than i can bare.
but today, i thought about the assignments i have coming up and saw them as being so easy and achievable. i saw it in such a positive and motivational light. i feel like that light might go away. people continue to bug me. i think i change them and i let them change me. everything's so psychological and it's really driving me crazy to think about it all. all the time. i find myself wanting to take on more tasks or responsibilities. but then i decline and conclude that i have way more than enough to do, and i don't need to bring on any more stress for myself. it's time to take care of me. it's okay to do. and if other people don't like that, it's not my problem. |
| |
| this is truly who i am.
it has become a part of me.
and i can't get over it.
but i know it's not my fault.
i don't even know what it is.
god help me.
maybe you would if you existed. |
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| What's wrong? Why am I seeing everything as being so overwhelming?
I don't know my motives. I don't know my objectives.
I don't want to be this weak person.
I was nobody all day. Then for a few minutes to an hour, I was everybody.
I'm letting people decide.
I'm letting life kick me in the ass.
Aren't I? |
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